I’d Tap That by dixē.flatlin3

I went out amongst the heathens today, as I do whenever there are errands to be run.  As I made my way into the convenience store to retrieve my change from filling up the car with gas I had one of those awkward encounters that happens.  You know the kind where you open the door just as someone is about to walk out, and neither of you is sure who should pass through first.  I decided to be polite and invited the gentleman to exit as I held the door open.  He paused for a moment, looked me up and down, and said with a lecherous smile, “I’d tap that.” as he made his was past me.

It was a brief exchange, but one that left me thinking afterward as I stood in line, mostly because I was not sure if I had heard the person correctly.  I had simply smiled and laughed as the man went past me, which is what I normally do in awkward social engagements.  OK, every social encounter I have is awkward, but I digress.  I was given the change and went back out to my car.  Having just come from the Department of Motor Vehicles, where I had overheard at least three men audibly laud their luck at having randomly won the lucky number 69, I was already in the mood to tune out males.

Back in the safety of my car I rifled through a few things, and when I was ready to start the car I looked up.  Just in time to see the gentleman from earlier roll his pearl white Cadillac Escalade up in front of my car.  Immediately I realized that he must have waited for me because I had been inside for several minutes.  He rolled his window down, obviously wanting me to reciprocate, which I did.

“So, what can we do to make that happen?” he asked.

“I am married.” I lied, but what else can a gal do in that situation?

“Ah, well too bad for us, well, me.” he said and then he drove off.

I have had some very strange run-ins with men in my lifetime.  This one definitely earns a place in the Top Ten.  I wondered what I had done to earn such unwelcomed attention from the man and then I realized I must have brought it on myself.  You see I was wearing my Hustler brand sweatshirt, and the Hardcore Since ’74 brand said it all.  I wonder what his reaction would have been had I been in my Shut-Up Bitch tee that depicts a bound man in a maid’s outfit with a ball gag in his mouth.

Please enjoy this video.


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