Dead Man’s Chest by dixē.flatlin3

Tonight I took my son to a birthday party. It was the birthday party of a coworker’s daughter who was turning seven. I should state that I am always apprehensive whenever I introduce my child to other children. Mostly because he is the polar opposite of a public school child. I pride myself on this fact. His magic bubble is spectacular and almost fully intact.

This evening was nothing out of the ordinary, there were little girls running about and little boys doing their thing, which is the polar opposite of whatever the fuck it is that little girls do. From what I could tell the incite drama and hysteria, but I digress.

As the evening progressed, the girls all went to bed and the boys continued to play in the bouncy house that included a water slide. The other parents and I were inside, bullshitting away when suddenly there was a ruckus outside. Now I would like to point out that drama with boys usually involves broken bones or blood, but nothing seemed to be that dire. Until the mother of one of the boys came in and announced that her child had been choked.

I walked outside, fully expecting to find my boy innocent of all nefarious actions; however, tonight it was different. My son was the youngest, but biggest boy in attendance, and unfortunately not a public school student. What that means is that I have taken every precaution that I can to protect my child from the dangers of the public school system, but I cannot always protect him from the danger lurking in the children of others.

Turns out my friend’s son had talked my son into playing a game called Dead Man. This game is basically a choke out game and I was completely disgusted that my son had been exposed to such vulgarity. More so, I was disgusted that this game was commonplace amongst the public school kids. Sadly, they did not consider the fact that my son was bigger than all of them. So when they convinced him to play their game, they did not factor in his size. My boy’s size makes him a force to reckon with on the basketball court and in the hockey rink. The coaches love him because the boy is a beast, but he can fuck up a kid who is several years older than he is, in the blink of an eye.

Which is exactly what happened this evening. Needless to say, we made a quick exit from the festivities, as I apologized to the mother of the child mine had choked out. But mostly I was disgusted by the fact my child now knew about a game called Dead Man. I felt like his innocence had been compromised. Regardless of the fact that he damn near killed another child

Whatever, I also thought of this song. And fuck the people who don’t value their children’s innocence more.